POLITICS: Paris for President

I just find it funny that Paris Hilton has a better grip on the energy crisis than John McCain.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

So I guess it's settled - Paris and Rihanna for President.

POLITICS: McCain Gets Slutty

In introducing his wife, McCain noted the ongoing beauty pageant at the event and said that he had "encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only person ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."

Just wow. This was a direct quote from McCain while attending a biker rally in South Dakota. Little do people know that this Miss Buffalo Chip contest is topless...sometimes bottomless.

Classy. Talk about your conservative morals. Oh wait, I forgot, women don't have rights and are just here for their holes and apple pie. If I ever got a glimpse of that cum dumpster naked I would cry.

Take a look - she is eye fucking the shit out of you right now. I think Cindy is a stage name.

NEWS: Avoid that ETF

Stuck with one of those nasty termination fees from your cell phone? With some persistence and creative thinking, you can get rid of these fees...eventually.

POLITICS: New McCain Ad

So Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have reached fame for no reason? Apparently the McCain campaign hasn't heard the song "Lucky" or have seen the sex tape. Because if they did then they would know why these starlets are so famous - because they have talent. They can sing and fuck with the best of them.

In fact, I think Barack is the only guilty one here. No singing talent, no sex tape = loser. Personally, I would have chosen Tiger Woods and Oprah - two no talent assholes who have unfairly taken advantage of affirmative action and anti-slavery laws. Just another sign of desperation and stupidity by the conservative agenda.

NEWS: Piss Or Get Off the Pot

Kory McFarren pleaded no contest last month to a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult. Why? Apparenlty his live-in girlfriend refused to get off the toilet for over two years and had been sitting on the toilet for at least a month, resulting in the toilet seat actually adhering to sores on her ass.

Now I've spent my fair share of time on a toilet, whether it be from the latest issue of Maxim or a long night of Bud Light and Taco Bell. But this is hardcore.

POLITICS: Finally I Agree with O'Reilly

This is Bill O'Reilly's thoughts on taxes from the Washington Op-Ed -

"Yes, I am part of the 1 percent of Americans that paid an astounding 40 percent of all federal income tax in 2006. According to recently released Internal Revenue Service figures, about 50 percent of my fellow Americans paid no federal income tax at all that year. My fellow 1-percenters and I covered for them. But for some it is still not enough.

President Obama and a Democratic Congress will likely dole out entitlements like free health care, child care and cash payments to anyone who falls under a certain income level, no matter their circumstances. That means people who drink gin all day will get some of my hard-earned money. Folks who dropped out of school, who are too lazy to hold a job, who smoke reefers 24/7 all will get some goodies in the mail from Uncle Barack and Aunt Nancy, funded by me and other rich folks."

I don't want Bill O'Reilly to pay taxes. I want him to be dead. It's completely unfair to this country that people like him are not only alive but have a disturbing effect on the simple minds of American's.

And his "hard earned" money? Please. Without the all of the poor, stupid people in America tuning into FOX News, he wouldn't even have a job.

POLITICS: John "The Geek" McCain

Amidst his fundraising efforts in the San Francisco Bay area, McCain attacked his grandpa image, letting people know that he is more tech-savvy than people give him credit for. Right. He sounded like an expert though, I'll give him that:

• “I do understand the importance of the computer. I understand the importance of the blogs.”
• “But I am forcing myself … let me put it this way, I am using the computer more and more every day.”
• “I use a computer almost every day. I go on different web sites … ours and the various media.”

The best part about this story is that a local hacker recently retrieved McCain's internet history (via the Patriot Act). The boring stuff was his email and his homepage "hornydefinatelyunderagewhiteandonlywhitegirls.com."

The real kicker was in his outrageous Google searches:
- women, slaves, how to
- viagra
- legalize lynching petition
- diapers, veteran's discount

NEWS: Chalk One Up for the Gays

No riots. No fights. Just dancing sprites in the streets of MA as its house passed a bill to repeal the 1913 law that bars same sex couples from out of state to be married there.



"The bill cleared a final hurdle this afternoon, when the House of Representatives passed the bill on a roll call vote after about 45 minutes of debate. The vote was 118-35, with five members not voting.

The 1913 law prohibits out-of-state couples from marrying in Massachusetts if their marriage would be considered void in their home state, and it has prevented most same-sex couples from out of state from marrying in Massachusetts. LGBT advocates and their allies in the legislature have argued that the law was passed in 1913 in part to prevent interracial couples from skirting anti-miscegenation laws in their home states."

link

This is basically throwing one big semen log in the face of bible thumping conservatives...I love it. WWJD? Probably the guy with the biggest cock, then turn his cum into wine...at least that's what I got out of the Bible.